URBANarmy

It’s my turn. I venture into the damp near darkness to feed Scruffy and Fluffy. I wander out towards the hutch not aware of the drama to unfold. Something is not right. No squeaks. No eager welcome. I take a closer look...the hutch is wide open. Empty. A quick glance through the fading light shows that the run on the grass too is empty. A reminiscence of emotion hits me. Two years ago I forgot to put Benny the Bunny back in the hutch. Two years ago Benny the Bunny disappeared – official line 'he’s gone on an adventure' , truth - Mr Fox paid a visit. Two years ago Bethan discovered a grief inside her that she didn’t know. Two years ago I was the worst Dad. It was my fault. A double, triple check of the hutch, run … empty. My gut lurches.... Hang on I didn’t get them out, it wasn’t me . Relieved of the weight of responsibility I grab a torch and start hunting the nooks and crannies of the garden for our emerged guinea pigs. "Dad what are you doing…!?" Rumbled. But it ...

He was waiting for me after Sunday's morning service. As I said goodbye to the other clients of our local SA detox centre - he whispered so the others couldn't hear "I've got to see you..." This was Daniel's second and last week with us before going into resisdential rehab. Alone with me he told me his story. It was long. As I listened and listened and as I did I looked and saw the scars of many years of abuse. His darting eyes, shakey disposition gave away that here was a man whose life that had be wrecked through alcohol. No background of church but he told me how he always felt that God or something was there. He cut to the point "I had a dream last night...and it scared me - I saw what my life was and what it was becoming" , tears began to form in his bloodshot eyes, "It was too vivid and life-like I don't want to go back there". I listened as he continued, tears creeping down his hardened scared face. "I woke up" he sn...

House group finished with a flurry and a flourish. As we left the dark London night sky was speckled with thick swirling flakes of snow. I looked at Tebbie. The look in her eyes; the smile of wonder on her upturned face as she caught the flakes on her face - an image I wish I could have captured, preserved. It doesn’t snow in Botswana! We walked back to the cars. I scoop a good proportion of snow. Formed a formidable snowball. "Tebbie…?" A well flighted snowball caught her perfectly on the shoulder as she turned - an introduction to a little Northern European culture. An initial hesitation gave opportunity to get off another missile of snow with equal effect. Tebbie didn’t need another invite – she scooped together some snow formed her first ever snowball and retaliated. She lacked the years of snowball making experience and what she threw disappeared into fine powder in front of her nose! Ever had a snowball fight with an African who hasn't seen snow before? There is so...

Sorting out some old correspondance I turned up an old piece of Viglen Corporate material. It reminded me of the morning spent - several years back now- with the chairman of Viglen Computers. He wanted to come and see how his company could help. We spent the morning chatting about the ethos of our work. Our motivation for youth and community work. "So you spend all this time trying to get yourself into a position to evangelise these people then? To tell them that they need the Lord!" he added sarcastically. "Not really..." I replied "...that would be as abusive as you wanting to give us computers only so that you can put it in your promotional material to make your company look better." He lost his sardonic smile. I saw our IT suite disappear - but was able to then talk about grace! Very generous to TSA elsewhere we didn't get as much as a floppy disc from Viglen for our IT suite, but they still got their story how they help the under privileged in ...

I'm close to removing Haloscan - for some reason it fails to appear depending what computer I am using. Whatever it is slowing URBANarmy down considerably. I'm leaving 'bloggers' comments available. Vexed

There was an email waiting for me. I looked at it but didn't open. I didn't want to consider it. I flicked through the rest of the mail. It's still there. I look, and I have that sinking feeling. The name I recognise - a colleague the manager at a homeless hostel; the subject - Joel Garner ( making pasta with Joel ; don't confuse it with Christianity and here .) I knew there was bad news. 'had to ask Joel to leave.... disappointed ....call me ...' was the gist of it. I spent the morning avoiding the phone. I didn't want to hear the 'ins and outs'. I didn't want to hear failure. I didn't want my naivety confirmed. Time goes and I get round to it and I hear the story of Joel. Everything was going so well, engaging in the resettlement programme. Just a matter of time and he would have been re-housed. First step on the ladder. No problems until he teams up with someone in the hostel and together start supplying drugs. Caught in the act of baggi...

My blog reading has been revolutionised by bloglines , simple to use a great way to keep tabs with who-ever you like to keep tabs on!

Came across a good bit of Sally bashing over at salvationsoldiers I have to say we try and make sure that everything we raise goes into projects that build local community in Poplar but hopefully if you read this blog you get that sense anyway.

Sorry comments by Haloscan seem to have gone awol.

Thanks to Ellina for this, posted in my comments a couple of weeks ago. May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people, to that you may work for freedom, justice and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain to joy. May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Every day when I take my girls to school I see a lovely mural on our school wall with a big placard attached "Painted by united churches in Soul in the City 2004 ". I have heard some great stories from colleagues that were involved with 'Soul in the City' and 'Festival Manchester' etc... so I don't want to appear critical - but there is always the danger of 'Soul in the City' type events becoming a 'missional dole in the city' once the lights have faded and everyone has gone home! Catherine Booth in an era of philanthropy was rather scathing on Church activity on one occasion speaking on "Sham Compassion and the dying love of Jesus Christ" she pointed out "...benevolence has come somewhat into fashion of late....". I wonder if she really saw such acts of love as a sham? I wonder if she really saw it as a distraction to the 'real mission' of out and out evangelism of the early Salvation Army? I wonder if s...

A successful week on the slopes of La Clusaz! No broken bones. Lots of ski-ing, reading, carrom and conversation. Mind well and truly detoxed! In a funny kind of way it is great to be back. It was great to see my daughters eyes and to feel their hugs. It great to see Kate - I'm a big softy really! It was great to hear that while I was away Joel popped in to say thank you. It was great to see Norman up and playing the congo's in our sunday worhip with a huge smile of belonging. It was great to see Anna who used to come to parent and toddlers until her little girl went to school a couple of years ago - "I'm bored can I come and help out in any way...?" It was even great to have to deal with Patrick 'going off on one' in breakfast club. It's good to get away but coming back was better!