I found resonance in Buechner's reflection, I like the idea of getting to a place where our doing, knowing rather than exclusive to each other informs and shapes each other in the way Buechner describes.
I wanted to learn about Christ - about the Old Testament, which had been his bible, and the New Testament, which was the Bible about him; about the history of the church, which had been founded on the faith that through him God had not only revealed his innermost nature and his purpose for the world, but had released into the world a fierce power to draw people into that nature and adapt them to that purpose, the church that not even the assorted barbarities and blunders of it's ragged two thousand years had ever quite managed finally to discredit or destroy; about the theological systems that the passion of his original followers, and of Saint Paul in particular , had been distilled into.
[having been] moved to astonished tears which came from so deep inside me that to this day I have never fathomed them. I wanted to learn more about the source of those tears and the object of that astonishment. I wanted to know, and be known by, people who knew greatly more about Christ than I did.
Maybe above everything, I wanted to do something for him.