Monday, September 05, 2005

I should have been nicer...!

Sunday finished in the same way it started.

Bethan my nine-year old daughter with a tear in her eye told me she'd let God down. "I can't help it Dad, she gets on my nerves and I know I should have been nicer!" Comfort is a year younger and has just started to come with her mother to church. As she has settled she has grown out of the shy little girl into a very forceful and attention seeking little girl. Quite hard to handle for adults let alone a nine-year old. We talk about it and even though the task will be difficult Bethan resolves to try better, to try and be patient to try and be tolerant to keep Comfort included.

Seven hours later in walks Mr Singh. Mr Singh often walks in and a pattern is emerging. We've helped him in the past and will continue to help. But the reality is that he doesn't want help. His wife throws him out because I suspect he is violent then he wants convenient accommodation.

He says he is sleeping on the streets - all evidence says he is not. Nevertheless we get the street rescue team to come out - he is never where he says he will be. In the past we have got him into different hostels but only to find he doesn't turn up. In short we are a convenience to him. When he really needed help - we helped - but now I think he is taking liberties. Ok this guy is really getting on my nerves.

In addition last week he was aggressive towards Kate and so I'm sorry but when I see him sitting calmly drinking tea I turn up the heat. We continue to help but I'm afraid that it was help with an edge. "so you are calling my wife a liar then....? I stand over this semi drunk person proding and probing verbally, letting this guy know that we are not stupid, passive push overs.

"...I can't help it Dad, she gets on my nerves and I know I should have been nicer...!" Later Bethan's words echo around my head as I watch Top Gear.

Mission doesn't mean that we need to be stupid, mission doesn't mean we need to be passive or push overs - but that is not an excuse for intolerance, impatience.

I should have been nicer...! I need to try harder - it's difficult!!


wilsonian said...

Deeper revelation, maybe. I've never found that trying harder ever worked. I always need a change of perspective that only God can give...

Rob said...

nicer ... maybe? can we be nice by trying harder? I know I can't because when I try harder, I get stressed; when I get stressed, I snap; when I snap people think I am not being nice ...

I agree with Wilsonian that we need to allow God to give us a fresh perspective.

I think too, though, that we need to know where to draw the line. WE shoul not be pushovers cause then we are ditracted from our true calling and mission. Jesus spoke of shaking off the dust from uninteretsed towns; and I have alays tought of this as an indication to be strategic by working with those ho are interested.

WE need a balance of comapssion and reality ... i think?

Gordon said...

Perhaps the deeper revelation centres around tolerance - sometimes it leaks away!!

The dust and sandal thing interests me because it is when you leave that village, town which kind of insinuates a journey before the relief of shaking teh sandals free of grit.

Who knows maybe the journey of irritation is a journey of deeper revelation?

who knows!

Thanks Rob and Wilsonian!