Sunday finished in the same way it started.
Bethan my nine-year old daughter with a tear in her eye told me she'd let God down. "I can't help it Dad, she gets on my nerves and I know I should have been nicer!" Comfort is a year younger and has just started to come with her mother to church. As she has settled she has grown out of the shy little girl into a very forceful and attention seeking little girl. Quite hard to handle for adults let alone a nine-year old. We talk about it and even though the task will be difficult Bethan resolves to try better, to try and be patient to try and be tolerant to keep Comfort included.
Seven hours later in walks Mr Singh. Mr Singh often walks in and a pattern is emerging. We've helped him in the past and will continue to help. But the reality is that he doesn't want help. His wife throws him out because I suspect he is violent then he wants convenient accommodation.
He says he is sleeping on the streets - all evidence says he is not. Nevertheless we get the street rescue team to come out - he is never where he says he will be. In the past we have got him into different hostels but only to find he doesn't turn up. In short we are a convenience to him. When he really needed help - we helped - but now I think he is taking liberties. Ok this guy is really getting on my nerves.
In addition last week he was aggressive towards Kate and so I'm sorry but when I see him sitting calmly drinking tea I turn up the heat. We continue to help but I'm afraid that it was help with an edge. "so you are calling my wife a liar then....? I stand over this semi drunk person proding and probing verbally, letting this guy know that we are not stupid, passive push overs.
"...I can't help it Dad, she gets on my nerves and I know I should have been nicer...!" Later Bethan's words echo around my head as I watch Top Gear.
Mission doesn't mean that we need to be stupid, mission doesn't mean we need to be passive or push overs - but that is not an excuse for intolerance, impatience.
I should have been nicer...! I need to try harder - it's difficult!!