"If you are not committed to your own adulthood, if you are just coming in and going out, letting others take care of all the ragged edges of your life together, then you will forever see the problem in someone else...If you want to know if you are committed to your own adulthood ask yourself, "in the last three things that bothered me in this community whom did I blame?" This is no more an no less than taking responsibility for myself.
De Waal, E. (1999:61). Seeking God: The Way of St. Benedict
... yeah but..!