Sometimes we're pretty full on Sunday's. Sometimes we're pretty empty. Mostly we're somewhere in between. Well today we were pretty empty. I know it isn't about numbers. I know there is the danger of a pride thing going on. Everything that could go wrong went wrong - yeah I know it isn't important, but tonight I feel vulnerable - I laugh outwardly but in reality I'm suffering a Sunday sulk!
I haven't been responsible for Sunday morning for a couple of weeks so I've had time, space to be a little more creative. U2's "Peace on Earth" with a loop of war, war graves and poppies made for a good space of reflection. Kids and balloons. Video clips from "To End All Wars". Verbally I tried to paint a picture of reconciliation using imagery from the story of Jacob and Esau. You know today I really tried but it felt that no-one turned up to the party! It was really hard work.
As Kate and I talk - I remember the guys from our detox centre leaving early - beaming and waving mouthing to me 'thanks'. Ok that was encouraging, last week they cowered at their first ever experience of church. I tell Kate of a conversation I had with someone damaged from another church that images of Jacob and Esau opened. Ok that was encouraging. At least unlike last week everyone I speak to doesn't burst into tears! that was encouraging!
So I come to a conclusion. What isn't encouraging is that you'd think I'd have grown out of the need for a pat on the back!!
Sulk to self-chatisement in one blog!