Sunday, November 13, 2005

Sunday Sulk...

Sometimes we're pretty full on Sunday's. Sometimes we're pretty empty. Mostly we're somewhere in between. Well today we were pretty empty. I know it isn't about numbers. I know there is the danger of a pride thing going on. Everything that could go wrong went wrong - yeah I know it isn't important, but tonight I feel vulnerable - I laugh outwardly but in reality I'm suffering a Sunday sulk!

I haven't been responsible for Sunday morning for a couple of weeks so I've had time, space to be a little more creative. U2's "Peace on Earth" with a loop of war, war graves and poppies made for a good space of reflection. Kids and balloons. Video clips from "To End All Wars". Verbally I tried to paint a picture of reconciliation using imagery from the story of Jacob and Esau. You know today I really tried but it felt that no-one turned up to the party! It was really hard work.


As Kate and I talk - I remember the guys from our detox centre leaving early - beaming and waving mouthing to me 'thanks'. Ok that was encouraging, last week they cowered at their first ever experience of church. I tell Kate of a conversation I had with someone damaged from another church that images of Jacob and Esau opened. Ok that was encouraging. At least unlike last week everyone I speak to doesn't burst into tears! that was encouraging!

So I come to a conclusion. What isn't encouraging is that you'd think I'd have grown out of the need for a pat on the back!!

Sulk to self-chatisement in one blog!



Anonymous said...

Hi Gordon

Thank-you for sharing this it is helpful because we all have those Sunday's when we think "why did we bother getting out of bed?"

John Maxwell tells us that "encouragement is oxygen for the soul" and I am a true believer in this, so it is not immature to want to have a bit of a pat on the back occassionally. I think we have a lonely job at times, some days you feel as though it is all give and no-one at the other end gives back to us.... then something happens and makes it all worthwhile... May I encourage you, that your writing encourages me.

God Bless and rest well


Yadah said...

Gordon . . . I understand that feeling of Sunday slump! After spending hours working on video stuff to speak to a specific part of the worship time and undergird what our speaker was wanting, the response was pretty lack luster. Yes . . . I sure have to check my motives. Is this a pride thing? Could be . . . sigh . .but you know . . . I'm incredibly grateful for God's working in the few that I saw responding. People go home and you wonder if they got anything. Sometimes you find out . . . sometimes you don't. All I can console myself with is knowing that while I was putting stuff together with our people in mind, God was watching with delight. Somehow . . . that encourages me after all. Bless you as you just keep pressing on!

ScottB said...

I'm not sure if we ever get past that. One thing I've tried to do is use those desires as an opportunity for reflection on Christ's humility.

Now, before I give the impression that I'm trying to sound uber-spiritual, I will freely admit that any such reflection usually comes about after I finish sulking ;). So you're in good company - at least it's a question that you wrestle with! A lot of folks never make it that far!

Gordon said...

Good to hear I'm not the only one!! Thanks

Jennifer said...

The pastor that's helping me and a couple of friends as we've led a housechurch for the first time tells us that God isn't just interested in the results of what we do for Him; He's also interested in the journey and shaping our character along the way. Good thoughts but usually not very encouraging when I'm not being the "super-hero for God" that I want to be. ;)